If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish my penis had a tongue
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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