i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
