As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize