You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
