is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
