Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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