i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
