Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize