but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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