I'm going to jail i love you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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