I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
