Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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