my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
