My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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