you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize