we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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