Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
