do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
