First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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