was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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