Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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