Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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