just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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