Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
