Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
