i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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