Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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