Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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