How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
