Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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