how can u be prego again
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
