so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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