And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
