we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
