Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
