The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
