my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
