so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
