Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Help. Why am I so naked?
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