she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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