I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You can't motorboat a personality
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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