lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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