listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
