today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
