Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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