Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
