I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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