Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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