I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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