Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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