Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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