He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
