Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
