took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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