I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
