We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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