break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
