it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
