We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
