u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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