Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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