True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
