I'm gonna have a badass scar
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
