I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Two words: nipple clamps
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